What should I do?

As was pretty clear in my last post, I am I have a very nice supervisor but nobody to help me unpack the things I am struggling to unpack at the moment. I received a reply reply of, ‘Good!’ to the rather lengthy email defending the types of ideas I am considering. I suppose this means my supervisor received the email but does not have any suggestions. My annoyance is probably more transference than a rational reaction to the situation, but I think I need to move on if I am going to get over it.

So, what do I do? Mostly I have just left dead ends alone, returning to them as I get a better understanding. Can I afford to just leave my interviews alone for now? Should I start my interviews without really knowing what I want to get out of them?

I am sure what I should do is just work a bit harder. If I read a bit more, started charting out my data in a more structured way, and had a bit more of a serious go of writing I am sure I would find a path out. However, I feel so drained I cannot even get myself to move through essential administrative tasks.

In some ways I am grateful for experiencing how overwhelming it is to be involved in, and have commitments with, so many community groups. I am getting a glimpse into what burn-out might feel like for some people. While a few weeks ago I really could not get my head around why anybody would want a life without responsibilities ‘to worry about’, now this seems more like a state of bliss.

I am very lucky to be getting to live the life I am at the moment. How many people in my age group get to flit around meeting people and giving things a go? I am grateful for all these interesting things I am getting to do. So how do I turn this awareness into motivation? Or perhaps the bigger question is, how do I get better at turning ‘doing’ into understanding?

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